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  • 01:46 watching roxanne... i like this old movie haha.
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rich little jokes

impersonating andy rooney of 60minutes

"if you choke a smurf... what color would he turn?"

"if an asp in the grass is a snake... then how come a grasp in the ass is called a goose"

" why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?"


and tomorrow... VEGAS!!!

how peculiar

so. abit odd sight.

but today as i was walking through the courtyard of my workplace, i saw an older gentleman walk across the courtyard and stop.... to smell the flowers. there were some plants in a pot (dispersed in a designally pattern in the courtyard), that had some small flowers in it. so he stopped to smell them.

this caught me aback for a moment; as, thats the common phrase, "stop and smell the flowers (roses)" or something like that. and no one really does that. so i thought, how peculiar it is to see this event. and i wondered if, the old man was old and so he took the time to appreciate his surroundings, rather than power walk to the car in the garage and leave.

he caught me looking at him peculiarly. since he walked up to me and explained his actions. he said he had smelled something nice, and wondered if it was the flowers in the potted plant. but told me of his findings, "the flowers don't smell like anytihng". and so it was some other smell in the air that intrigued him. in hindsight, i wondered if it was the chemicals that the landscaper was pouring into the fountains/pools on the side of the courtyard. (chemicals that probably prevent algae or whatnot from growing) at that moment though, i explained myself and said that it was funny to actually see someone to 'stop and smell the flowers." i think he told me what he was doing, because he didnt want me to think that he was a crazy old man. and conversely, i wanted to explain myself so that he didn't think i was a crazy young kid.

and now i wonder if i have to be old to take a moment like that. but then i realize that its not about age, but just simply mindset. to take time out, and enjoy it. shit happens all the time, but sometimes you can stop...smell the flowers... and realize that they don't smell at all.


its the end of the world.

george carlin just died.

well.. 5hrs ago my time.


thats not cool.

and last week stan winston died.

stan winston was innovative and imaginative.

george carlin was like my semi-idol haha. i loved his perspective on things. i read his bookos. i haven't finished one i got recently. cause he was being more verbose and tackling on definitions and more word usage or whatnot and that kinda went over me a bit. but brain droppings was cool.


the pooh... and you...

so this is jsut a personality test and it uses the winnie the pooh characters as personality traits or whatnot. so its like which character are you.

during the quiz you get to read little snippets of pooh from the books or hwanot. the one after your finish the questions, but before the results is interesting. i never really read the books, but i have watched the winnie the pooh cartoon before. so thats my main source of info on the characters or whatnot.*

pooh personality testCollapse )

quick bit... (security)


i saw a quick article about airport security and how they are going start using camera that see through clothing or whatnot.

and i thought of a silly scenario. something like, i see the xray machine and and tell the TSA security that i wish i had shaved. and the guard replies "but you don't have a beard sir." and i say...'thats not what i'm talking about" :-|

oooooooooooooh and then hilarity ensues.

somewhat thing for interaction

even though i didn't participate (or did i?), cause my memory is faded and i can't remember shit...

Comment anonymously on this post with your favorite memory of me and I will try to guess who it is!

tooken from jimmyen and kwasek

it actually makes me realize how i can't remember shit. so memory! now you try!

i'm pretty sure i'll be failing btw

observation.. or asshole...

instead of making a full fledged joke.. its just an observation and then you make the joke in your head. thats kinda how i seen/heard other comedians speak. lets see if i got it. haha.

"you know, i have never seen an obese/fat blind man. why is that?"

quick quips...

some quips to use in various situations.

if you think someone is a cold bastard... you say "man, you're like a deli ... cold cut"
or variation, "man, you're like a (name of cold cut) honey baked ham... cold cut."

(inspired by Tree hugger song by kimya dawson and antsy pants)>
if someone is being mean or something, then you say, "loving you is like trying to hug a cactus...you're gonna get hurt."

variation is if you're talking about a guy, "going out with (insert guys name here) is like hugging a cactus... you're gonna get hurt, and you're gonna get a small prick".
variation off the variation..."...hugging a cactus...you're gonna get pricked, but you're gonna end up hurt."

reminds me of a joke, "whats the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?"
..."on a porcupine, the prick's on the outside."

the office


the office tv show is really funny. i've kinda been doing a marathon of it over the weekend. i mean i watched season 1 months ago. but they just put season 2 and 3 and i think 4 on netflix "instant viewing". i am really bad about sending in the dvds to get new dvds. its stupid.

but yea i'm like mid season 3. and i just laugh cause michael scott (steve carell) is so ignorant and stupid. and on some episodes like sad (pathetic), cuase i feel bad for him. like in season 2 bring daugther to work day, we see what his dreams were as a child. and its kinda sad.

and i guess the whole jim pam thing love thing is interesting. but its really sitcomy or whatever tv show like thing. i mean its cute and entertaining and stuff. but yea. so thats neat. and dwight though crazy seems cool i guess haha. i mean he has a heart or is a person too. but yea. its entertaining stuff.

the day passes by so quick when it comes in 21min packets. haha.

on a side note, the eye is twitching now. before it was like the brow. but now its like the spot underneath my right eye. its pretty wicked. i mean i just need ot get to a regular good sleep schedule. and stay off the caffiene thing.

i looked in the mirror when it was happening and its like wacky. ithink pregnant women's bellies are like this. where its like sudden movements. it makes me think of like a frog breathing and the skin is kinda expandind quickly. its really really freeky. and i dont like frogs... for that kinda reason. plus the frog eye is weird.


time to sleep before 3am.